5:49:00 PM

2nd July 2012

I was scrolling my twitter that night when I found out that my friend died in a motorcycle-car crash. I didn't believe it at first. I thought it was just his friends playing jokes on him and wrote it on their twitter. And then my friend called me and say, "He's gone. It's true." My heart automatically skipped a beat. I was shocked. I didn't know how to react. My hands were shaking. I called everyone that night and cried, and cried and cried. You know that feeling when someone close to you, that person you see everyday was suddenly gone? It was the first time I'd ever loose a friend. Eventhough I wasn't that close to him, compared to anybody else in my class. It was too painful that I can't sleep properly that night.

3rd July 2012

It was Monday. When I woke up, I promised myself not to cry. I forced myself to stay strong. "Whatever it is, don't cry." When I came to school, the first thing that pops into my head was my classmates. I thought, if it was hard on me, then it must be a thousand times harder on them. We've been a classmate since form 1. We're like brothers and sisters. So, I walked to their lines since I was a prefect. And I saw their eyes were red. I knew they're too sad that they couldn't hold the tears. I hugged my friend, Afiqah and I cried. I cried hard. Everybody from form 1 to from 5 stared at us. Some of them already knew the news. Some of them laughed at us like we're some sort of a freak show. I swear to God I want to punch them in the face. And some of them were clueless, not knowing the reason why we were crying.

That day was really hard for us, 3 Wangsa. Knowing that he would't be around anymore, his stupid jokes will no longer be heard, were painful. Knowing that his seat will remain empty. 

"Aku rasa Amir macam tak datang sekolah je do. Macam dia dekat rumah tengah tidur lagi."

After Zohor, we went to his house to see his face for the last time. Almost the entire school came to his house. Even the non-Muslims. Imagine, how lucky he was :') The hardest thing would probably seeing his mother's face. I can't imagine how hard it was to loose a son. It was pure. Pure love. After being shrouded, his body was brought to a nearby surau to perform the Solat Jenazah. The surau was completely filled with people praying for him. Subhanallah.

9th July 2012

This year class photo.

Dear Amir,

It's okay you didn't make it to our class photo. We've saved a seat for you so we won't ever forget about you. Believe us, we won't. That seat will always be yours, forever. No one can ever replace you. You will always be our class monitor. Keep that in your mind. Only god knows how much we miss you. We love you but Allah loves you more. We'll pray for your safety. Insya-Allah, one day we will meet again in another life. The eternity, Jannah.

Love, us. x

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