Beautiful Distraction

It is absolutely hard to keep your own promises. For example, I promise to myself that I will try not to get too comfortable being friends with the opposite gender because of the fact that I put myself in the state of wanting to become a better muslimah. I encourage myself day by day that if I manage to control myself, inshaa Allah I will get the reward from Allah later. Another reason is because I believe that controlling one's self from desire is a huge effort. Plus, I want to become the person I want to meet aka future husband, this one is for you.


Nobody said it was easy. Every once in a while, I keep getting bumped into this so called 'beautiful distractions'. Sometimes I got swayed by the inner nafs inside of me that makes me forget my goal just now. Trust me. I've been in that state so many times. It's like there are voices inside my head that constantly told me to rebel!

One of the beautiful distractions would be accepting following requests on instagram. Alhamdulillah, it has been a year now since I filtered my instagram followers to all girls and mahram only. I even private my account and hid it from public but funny how they still found me. All my guy friends keep asking me when will I approve them but I never answered. I am not going to lie. There are times when the little devil inside of me wanting to click approve but thank God that didn't happen.

Next, would be commenting/messaging with a guy. I personally don't have that special someone or a guy best friend where we would exchange messages or talk with each other everyday and stuff like that. Well, at least not anymore. But it is quite testing when that lonely girl feeling kicks in and it feels kind of nice when there is someone who wants to talk to you, asking questions about you as if he somewhat cares about you, wanting your attention and things like that. I admit that feels nice! But then again, it is wrong. What happened was in the middle of the conversation, I felt really guilty to myself and I would just leave that person hanging forever. I am sorry if you think that is rude but you need to understand the bigger picture here. I am doing my best to avoid this kind of distraction because it involves the matter of feelings, the matter of heart which is the whole purpose of my goal; to protect it.

Last but not least is the tendency to change profile pictures. This is much related to the instagram just now. Everytime I feel like changing my twitter default picture or whatsapp profile picture, I would reflect back to the purpose of privating and filtering my instagram account. Can you imagine? I private my account all this while but then I use a close ups as my default picture. That is me being inconsistent with my actions and subhanallah may Allah protect me from that. So far, this is the hardest because I am a person who loves to take pictures and I like to keep myself updated at some point. But, I will try my best not to.

To my family and closed friends, do remind me always. Also, I'm writing this as a letter to myself as well as to share with anyone who is currently doing the same thing. May your goals succeeded and may Allah bless you. Stay strong and even if you got swayed, try your hardest to resist it because for all we know, bad thoughts/desire/whispers comes from syaitan. May Allah SWT guide us.